In Awe of Him


I love Jesus. I mean, I really, truly love Jesus with every part of my being. I could never express in mere words what he means to me. I just don’t know how. It’s beyond my capabilities.

I’ve seen him perform miracles in my life for which I am eternally grateful. I have put my life in his hands and he has gently, graciously, mercifully saved me. And I am in awe of him.

His love is boundless for me and I don’t deserve it. Yet he gives it regardless of my undeserving nature. And I am in awe of him.

My love for him is so deep and personal that it’s hard for me to talk about. It’s probably because I can’t put the right words on it to express what he means to me in my life. So I find that I don’t even try sometimes. I shy away from it because words fall short. And I am in awe of him.

While I know that I have this very meaningful relationship with Christ, does anyone else see it in me? I wonder. Is my light shining? Is it evident that I belong to Jesus?

I think it is. I do all the things. I go to church. I listen to worship music. I pray. I read my Bible. I talk about Jesus. But I don’t really share about my personal experience with him too much. So maybe that part is missing. Maybe my light could be brighter.

Maybe others need to hear what Jesus is doing, or has done, in my life. Maybe that’s more impactful than seeing me go to church. Maybe vulnerability is what people need to see. Maybe.

I’ve been really convicted the last couple of weeks that maybe I haven’t done the best job with my children. I should’ve prayed with them more. I should’ve taught them more. I should’ve…

Truth is, I could play that game all day, right? I could always do better, but I believe God will bless what I did do. I gave my children a good foundation of faith.

My prayer now is that I continue to teach them as they are grown (and almost grown). My prayer is that I will be bold in talking to them about my faith. My prayer is that they will love Jesus as much as I do.

There’s a song with lyrics that say this: “I’m a man whose one ambition is to dance with my divine.” And I think that’s so beautiful. That his only mission in life is to be with Jesus.

And that’s mine, too. Jesus is magnificent, and I’m in awe of him.

About Beautifully Polarized

Life is ever changing. God is working in me more everyday. He has blessed me with a husband who is my best friend in every aspect of life, and three children who teach me about life and love everyday. He has blessed me further with friends who help me get through the rough days, and laugh with me on the good days. And, I believe He gave me the best mom a girl could ask for. He has also given me trials so that I can grow into the person He intended me to be. Walking with Him makes life in this world bearable.

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