Green Eyes

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Green eyes looking back at me, rich with a story I didn’t even know I needed to tell. Glistening from the tears you shed. You speak pain. But what pain? What is the pain? Where does it come from? What is it about? I feel it, but I’m not sure what it is. I don’t know how to express it. I don’t know where the hurt lies or where it comes from.

But the eyes know. You know.

You stare back at me, willing me to understand. You cry out from behind your glassiness. You know the emptiness I feel. You feel it, too. If only you could speak, you could tell them what you know. But you can’t.

You can’t, so the pain just gets tucked away. Stuck. Stuck deep inside somewhere that even I can’t find it at times. It troubles me. It kicks and screams at times. It boils inside me. The pain. It knows it can’t live in there, hidden away forever. Yet, still it doesn’t come to the surface.

It stays buried to some degree. It stays so that it’s always a part of me. It stays behind those green eyes. And even though you know, you don’t betray what you know. You keep the secret. Even from me, the keeper of the eyes.

How can that be? How can I be the home for the eyes and the pain but still not understand it? How can I still not know? How can I still not be able to explain it?

I want to. I so badly want to tell them what hurts. I want to share it with them. I want to bring it all out into the light. To expose it. If I could, maybe the pain wouldn’t be so great. Maybe it would release its hold on me. Maybe the pain that pierces through my green eyes would turn into something else.

Maybe.

Maybe I’ll never know. Maybe I’m not meant to understand. This pain. What does it want from me? Green eyes, can’t you tell me what you know? Can’t you help me understand?

Green eyes.

You’re not always here, bright and staring back at me. It’s the green that knows. Not the brown, nor the hazel. It’s the green. You’re the one that knows the pain. You’re the one that keeps the secret. I know you. When I see you, I know you see me, too. You let the sadness leak out. The others hold it in. The hazel and the brown. But you, green, you’re the brave one. You let the sadness be seen.

Green eyes. I see you looking back at me, wanting to tell your story, wanting to share your secret. Bring it to the light, green. Don’t hide anymore. Be free. Share with me what you know so I can be free, too.

Set us free, green eyes.

About Beautifully Polarized

Life is ever changing. God is working in me more everyday. He has blessed me with a husband who is my best friend in every aspect of life, and three children who teach me about life and love everyday. He has blessed me further with friends who help me get through the rough days, and laugh with me on the good days. And, I believe He gave me the best mom a girl could ask for. He has also given me trials so that I can grow into the person He intended me to be. Walking with Him makes life in this world bearable.

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