Say Something

Standard
“Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’ll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I’m still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye
Say something, I’m giving up on you
And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
And anywhere, I would have followed you
Oh, oh, oh, oh say something, I’m giving up on you
Say something, I’m giving up on you
Say something”
I have loved this song from the first moment I heard it. It is hauntingly beautiful. I hadn’t heard it in quite a while until a few days ago. This time, I heard the lyrics with a decidedly different meaning.
This time, I am two beings, one pleading with the other.
I see myself lying on the ground, partially curled up, wearing a white gown, no shoes. I do not see my face.
I am begging myself to get up off the ground and keep fighting. It’s me doing the begging; it’s me doing the lying. I’m the one lying on the ground unable to move. I am the one broken into 1000 pieces without the strength to put myself back together. I’m the onlooker from above, pleading.
It’s almost like it’s a past and present me, or maybe a present and future me. All me, each one different from the other.
I am desperate to save myself, yet still I slip away. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to keep going; I don’t know how to hang on. Slowly my grip loosens and I have to let go.
I am no more.
There is nothing left to do for the faceless one. She cannot return.
I can’t move.
How do I walk away? How do I turn around a walk away from this lifeless form that was once part of me – now gone, never to return?
I don’t know how.
This haunts me.
For the rest of me, life goes on, but I’m not whole. There will forever be this part of me that I lost that day. The death of self has left its mark.
And in the shadows lurks darkness – threatening to steal another piece.

About Beautifully Polarized

Life is ever changing. God is working in me more everyday. He has blessed me with a husband who is my best friend in every aspect of life, and three children who teach me about life and love everyday. He has blessed me further with friends who help me get through the rough days, and laugh with me on the good days. And, I believe He gave me the best mom a girl could ask for. He has also given me trials so that I can grow into the person He intended me to be. Walking with Him makes life in this world bearable.

One response »

  1. I love that song too! It really does speak to me, on a totally different level tho.. Definitely listening with the weight of our experiences. Love you my friend!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s