Monthly Archives: February 2012

Fat Pig

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Because I am bored and desperately trying to find something to do other than school work, I decided to read an article about Adele.  I should have stopped at the end of the piece, but instead I felt the need to read some of the comments.  BIG MISTAKE!  Some people are just ignorant.

Rather than the comments having anything to do with the actual article, or with Adele’s outstanding talent, they are filled with some calling her names, like ‘fat pig,’ and others defending her in her plus-size body.  I won’t go off on a tangent about people having nothing better to do, because here I sit furiously typing through my anger over how idiotic perfect strangers are!  HA!

What I do want to say, though, is that this kind of mean-spirited bullying is exactly what causes our young people to have so many issues with their bodies today.  We can’t all be beautiful.  We can’t all be uber thin.  We can’t all be musical.  We can’t all be athletic.  When a teenage (or pre-teen, or 20-something) young girl reads these types of comments she can’t help but look at herself and wonder how others perceive her.  Based on the article’s comments people are judged by how they look rather than on their merit.  So, she learns that outward appearance is more important than anything else.  She doesn’t learn this simply from hateful comments, either.  She has grown up looking at flawlessly beautiful people on the cover of magazines, in movies, on TV, on the runway, etc.  Our society has taught her that beauty is the ultimate prize.

In my humble opinion, Adele is gorgeous.  Sure, she may have a few extra pounds on her, but it isn’t like she is morbidly obese.  I certainly haven’t seen her be the spokeswoman for Krispy Kreme.  She isn’t promoting an unhealthy lifestyle.  And, the last time I checked being a musician has absolutely zero to do with whether or not a person could fit into a size 0 skirt.

Crown him the king!

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As some of you know, my grandmother passed away the Monday before Thanksgiving last year.  She was only a few days shy of her 89th birthday.  She and my grandfather ( Pa Pa) had been married nearly 65 years.  In the last few years of her life she and Pa Pa, spent much of their time fighting with one another.  In April of last year my mom and uncle had to move them into a nursing home.  This change didn’t make either of my grandparents happy; their moods worsened, and their fighting escalated.  In fact, they fought so loudly that they were disturbing the other residents and the employees at the home.  Needless to say, my grandparents probably weren’t the employees’ most favorite patients.

Now that Pa Pa is at the home alone, and doesn’t have to worry about my grandmother everyday, he is much more relaxed.  He isn’t grumpy; he doesn’t complain.  He eats his food, and he sleeps.  He even leaves the room and plays bingo with the other residents (which he was adamantly against in the beginning).  So, things are turning around for him.  A few days ago he rambled off something to my mom about some ladies coming to his room and telling him he was the king.  Well, he gets confused pretty easily these days, so none of us really thought anything about it.  A day or so later, though, mom gets a call from the nursing home saying that every year before the annual Valentine’s Day party, the staff votes for their favorite male and female patients.  The winners get to be the king and queen of the party!  Guess who was voted king?  You got it!  My grandfather!

I’m so happy for him that he is now able to live out the rest of his time in this life (however long or short that may be) with a sense of peace and happiness.  There was once a time when the nursing staff didn’t care for him much, but now they can see who he really is.  They can see that he was just worried sick about my grandmother, and he wore himself ragged taking care of her.  Now they like him!  In fact, they like him best of all!  I’m so thankful that when it’s his turn to be with Jesus that his caregivers will remember him fondly.

The Perfect Fit

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You know that feeling when you find the perfect pair of jeans (or shoes)?  They fit as if they were made specifically for you, and you feel comfortable, strong, confident, and happy!  I love that feeling.

I tend to think of my friends in much the same way.  People who make me feel comfortable, strong, confident and happy are people I want to keep in my life.  And actually, I want them close to me – in my everyday life.  I want to be able to pick up the phone and say, ‘Come over.  Let’s chat while the kids play.’  Or, ‘Can you go to a movie tonight?’  I want to be able to walk down the sidewalk or drive to the next neighborhood, knock on my friend’s door and know she will let me in and I won’t be imposing upon her.  Yes, these are the people who fit.  They fit my life, and I fit theirs.  Really, I would consider these people my family, not just my friends.

My reality, though, is that none of these people lives down the street, or even in the same town or state.  Technology has been great and has allowed me to keep in touch with them, but we all know that isn’t the same.  Having a couple of phone conversations each week, or a stream of text messages back and forth, or an unending FB thread is nice, but it isn’t all that I want.  I want personal interaction.  I want to answer the knock at the door and find a friendly face on the other side – not just a neighborhood kid or someone selling something.  I want invitations to come to dinner.  I want evenings spent on the back porch huddled around a fire with neighbors while all the kids are sleeping.

The problem is that just when those tight bonds of friendship have formed, it’s time to move again.  And lately, there hasn’t even been time for anything more than superficial friendships to form.  This summer our family will move again, and it will be the fourth consecutive summer we will have moved.  Anyone out there know how long it takes to makes friends in a new place?  Well, it usually takes about 6 months for people to notice you exist.  This marks the beginning of the superficial/acquaintance type friendships to form.  Generally, it takes another 6 months to figure out who you really ‘fit’ with.  Once you figure that out, it takes another several months to grow that friendship into something lasting.  So, when you only live somewhere for eleven months, you really don’t have the time to make real friends.  For me, that is devastating.  I rely heavily on my friendships; maybe too much at times.

I get down a lot about not having my friends nearby.  When this happens I begin to withdraw from the people who ARE nearby – those who could possibly become another great friend.  My insecurities begin to emerge.  I put up walls, and pull away because I don’t want to put myself out there, only to be rejected.  I convince myself that people don’t really like me.  I tell myself I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, funny enough, talented enough, skinny enough.  Maybe my kids are too annoying, or my breath stinks, or I have an annoying laugh, or my voice isn’t as good as I’d like it to be.  These thoughts follow me wherever I go.  I can’t escape them.

And then I realize that it isn’t me who is convincing myself I’m not good enough, it’s Satan who is convincing me.  He is attacking me – again.  Why won’t he just LEAVE ME ALONE?  Haven’t I proven to him that he won’t win?  Apparently not.

You would think by now that I would stop listening to his lies.  But I don’t.  I fall for them every.  single.  time.  Today, I’m in the midst of another fight.  I want to pick up the phone and make plans for the weekend.  But I won’t.  I can’t take another rejection, or unanswered call or text.  I’m not strong right now.  So what will I do?  I will go about my day as usual.  I will smile at others.  I will seem cheerful if someone calls or knocks.  But it will all be a facade.  Underneath the smile is a person who doesn’t fit in her current world.  And oddly enough, finds herself ready to move on, to escape the world that doesn’t fit – hoping to find that the next world really does fit.

Find the people in your life that truly fit.  Treasure them.